Screen-Time: a realistic guide
- Alex Kelly
- Jun 12
- 7 min read
Updated: Jun 15
First things first, can we start by admitting that it’s OKAY to desire to live a healthier and more natural lifestyle, while also still loving tv? The two can go hand in hand. It doesn’t have to be one way or the highway.
While no child (or adult) NEEDS tv (and honestly we’d probably all be better off without it), I’ll be the first to admit I enjoy tv - and I think that’s okay!
Let's Start with the Guidelines
These are just the current recommendations. It’s okay if your household looks different!
Passive vs Interactive Screens
Overall, it does seem there is a common trend of interactive screen-time having more negative effects than passive screen time. This is not to say interactive media has to be kicked from your home completely. Not saying that at all! But I do think sometimes there's a notion that interactive media, especially if it's "educational" is better than watching an episode of a TV show.
I'm not the expert so l really can't say - but it appears to be research suggesting that may not be the case. Maybe watching an episode of Little Bear might be a better choice than playing a Leap Frog game (for certain ages)?
what to look for in “Better” Shows & Movies
Full disclosure: I do believe (as best as possible) that slower-paced, less stimulating shows are better, especially for that 18mo-2yr range. However, for me at least, I have become more lenient as my son gets older. While I still prefer those types of shows, we also enjoy shows like Spidey and other things that my son has shown unique interests in - and I’m okay with that!
Slower Paced: count how many seconds pass between jump cuts - the longer the better.
Muted/Natural Colors: think Little Bear vs Cocomelon or Hey Bear Sensory
Minimal Unnatural Visual Effects: like dancing fruits and swirling shapes
No Loud, Distracting Music or
Sound Effects
Rich Storytelling & Dialogue
Notice the difference?
what to look for in “better” shows & movies: Rich Story-Telling
I love shows and movies that tell an unfolding story, using rich dialogue and tried and true storytelling principles. Think the “classic literature” stories like Charlotte’s Web.
Storytelling...
introduces new ideas
promotes creative thinking
enhances language development
builds emotional intelligence
helps teach moral values
boosts listening skills
increases culture of understanding
sharpens memory
This is why READING ALOUD to children is so important!!!! In fact, a study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that the most significant predictor of vocabulary comprehension and production was the amount of time children were read to.
what to look for in “better” shows & movies: Story-Telling vs Behavior Correction
Most children shows teach a lesson of some sort, but I would not consider all of them “rich stories.” Many shows teach their lesson solely through behavior correction (i.e behaviors like throwing a fit when upset, jealousy, anger, making fun of others, talking back to parents/sibling, and correcting this behavior).
While these types of behaviors certainly may make their way into storytelling (after all, they are apart of real life), when it’s the sole focus without the deeper story and rich dialogue behind it, then it can become confusing for younger children - even when the ending teaches that the behvior is not okay.
Typically younger children are unable to grasp the concept of the lesson, and instead focus on and normalize the behavior. They may see a character scream and cry because they didn’t get what they want, and because they are too young to grasp the “lesson” that unfolds due to the behavior, that behavior is then normalized and associated in their mind.
Let’s look at some examples.
Thoughts on Ms. Rachel
This is, without a doubt, the most FAQ I get when it comes to screens, so let’s dedicate a slide or two.
First, I know there’s some political debate around Ms. Rachel. Personally, if you feel like you cannot in good conscious watch her whether it be for political reasons or general parenting reasons - that’s okay and 100% understandable & respected! But for the purpose of the following, we are going to put all “politics” aside.
In general, I have no problem with Ms. Rachel. If you do, though, that’s okay! We watch her a few times a week, and I don’t have any shame admitting that.
I think it all comes down to intention (as with all tv, and really anything in life). Is the sole intention so that your child will be educated? Or that it’s a “better” option than other shows because it’s “educational?” Idk if I would agree fully with those (but, again okay if you do!) Or do you just like it? I think it’s totally okay if you straight up just like her!
One of the top "complaints" I hear is that it's not actually educational. I agree and disagree with this. Another is that you shouldn't allow the tv to educate your child. I agree with this to some extent, but I also think there can be a time and a place for educational media. Change that phrasing to, "you shouldn't allow the tv to be a child's primary education," then I agree whole-heartedly.
Again, it all comes down to intention.
If someone is relying on Ms. Rachel alone to interact with and educate their child, that may not be ideal. Children learn best from their parents and the world around them. In the early years this is where the primary education should come.
But look, if you've already introduced her (or want to introduce her) and your kid loves her - I don't think you should feel any guilt for letting them watch an episode here and there. Now, if you're letting them watch for hours on end so you don't have to parent (I don't actually think anyone here is doing that), then maybe that’s not the best move.
I think it's important to note that Ms. Rachel DOES use proven speech techniques, so while it shouldn't replace parent interaction - I do think if you're going to play her, then pay attention yourself! Learn some early childhood development techniques from her, and incorporate them yourself in your daily life.
Now with all this being said, Ms. Rachel SHOULD NOT replace any necessary therapy or early intervention!!!
Setting Boundaries
They might not admit it, or even realize it, but children of all ages want and thrive on structure and boundaries. For us at least, a very beneficial and healthy part of screen-time has been boundaries.
My son knows exactly when he can and can’t watch tv, and this has been extremely helpful for him.
Our screen-time rules are:
No tv until after quiet time, and no tv on at dinner.
That means from the time he wakes up around 8am, until after his quiet time that ends at 4:30pm, the tv will not be turned on. And if he’s in the middle of a show or movie whenever dinner is ready it will be paused.
Of course, there are exceptions every now and then, but for the most part this is the structure we stick to.
I DO NOT say any of this in a holier than thou way. After my youngest was born we had tv time almost 24/7, and created a monster. This is what helped bring us back to reality. Lol!
"Better" TV Shows & Movies
Before we dive into some recommended shows and movies, please do not take someone else's word when it comes to a movie appropriate for your child. I highly recommend reading up on any new media yourself, or watching yourself, before showing your young child.
You also can’t always take online ratings as gospel. I found this out the hard way when it said Gremlins was PG (lololol). Come to find out AFTER the fact that it’s one of the whole reasons they created a PG-13 rating in the first place. face palm Miles LOVED it. I was mortified.
What one family is comfortable with and deems “appropriate,” another may not. And that’s okay!
"Better" SHOWS for Kids
Amazon
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
Guess How Much I Love You
Ellinor Wonders Why
Bug Diaries
Zoboomafoo
The Stinky Dirty Show
Molly of Denali
Tumble Leaf
Kipper
The Big Comfy Couch
Busy Town Mysteries
Stick Man
We’re Going on a Bear Hunt
Clifford the Big Red Dog
Netflix
Puffin Rock
Trash Truck
Ada Twist, Scientist
Sea of Love
Disney+
Bear in the Big Blue House
Out of the Box
Nature Documentaries
Bluey
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
Apple TV
Frog and Toad
Duck and Goose
The Velveteen Rabbit
The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, and The Horse
Paramount+
Little Bear
Oswald
PBS
Peep and the Big World
Through the Woods
Reading Rainbow
Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood
YouTube or Check Local Library
The Adventures of Abney & Teal
Jojo and Gran Gran
Tiny Wonders
Sarah and Duck
Dragon Tales
Franklin
The Busy World of Richard Scarry
The Gruffalo
Lily’s Driftwood Bay
Clangers
If I Were an Animal
Betrix Potter: The World of Peter Rabbit and Friends
"G" Movies with Rich Story-Telling
My Neighbor Totoro
Ponyo
Kiki’s Delivery Service
Puffin Rock
Winnie the Pooh
A Little Princess
The Secret Garden
Babe
Robin Hood
The Fox and the Hound
Bambi
The Sound of Music
Singing in the Rain
Mary Poppins
Homeward Bound
Finding Nemo
The Little Bear Movie
Charlotte’s Web
Stellaluna
The Land Before Time
Thumbelina
Arrietty
The Artisocats
Pinocchio
Ferngully
An American Tale
The Mouse and the Motorcycle
The Lion King
Wall-e
Fantasia
Where the Red Fern Grows
Old Yeller
Shiloh
Pollyana
Swiss Family Robinson
Fly Away Home
"PG" Movies with Rich Story-Telling
My Father’s Dragon
Christopher Robin
The Little Prince
The Wild Robot
The Iron Giant
Fantastic Mr. Fox
James and the Giant Peach
The Never Ending Story
Labyrinth
Paddington
Lyle Lyle Crocodile
ET
The Prince of Egypt
Stewart Little
The Little Vampire
Peter Pan
Song of the Sea
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Flow
My Dog Skip
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